We are alone and now I’ll admit the judgment day kids are breaking my spirit. The god fearing ones, they’ll scare us to death. They’ll take what’s yours is mine is yours until nothings left. I never felt so alone as when I saw him win. Live poor, vote rich, praise god, don’t think, it’s un-American. I wish we were all gay Muslim illegal immigrants, lesbian Jewish black single parents.
And my words came alive..
The top 1 percent, they got 30 percent. The bottom half, they cut them off, they call it compassion. They redistrict with ease, these partisans aim to please. With sunshine laws, the NRA takes care of us all. I got all shocked and awed and red-stripped out. My head ache aches as the ground shakes under everyone. I wish we had born homeless and hungry to start. We know not how to empathize to save our own life. We talk big but stand aside ..
I sat down and watched my home descent
Through my glass the s-t-a-t-e seemed bleak.
The chit chat seemed to go un-scathed.
They say don’t yell rape,
Yell fire.
-------------------------------------------------
I took the train from Retiro down to your house. Martines at night held a chance that I let go of.
I’d found something worth a fight and I just up and left it.
I searched for a phone to talk my way to your thoughts, to trick you I guess, into falling for a yankee.
I sat and waited for your Fiat when along you came con tu novio and I planned a coup d’etat in your coupe.
You drove that car down to his house and as we started to get out I felt empty. I tried real hard to play it off. I tried real hard to read your thoughts from the back seat. I shut the door as I began to see if I could understand when my knees gave in. I closed my eyes as we walked in. I closed my eyes as you kissed him. I felt empty.
Words I could not mention as we said goodbye to him passed by my eyes on the driver’s side windshield on the way to the bar to meet up with your friends. Kept my eyes straight, read the words and said
-------------------------------------------------
pseudo-narcoleptic day sleepers don’t write good children’s bedtime stories. They tend to skip large parts and focus on small things like people caught in themselves. With rhyme and reason, they articulate well, but forget that the sentiment is what sells it. Their big crime is they sacrifice all beauty for bad ideas and advice. They all write.
He’ll break your heart, you’ll hope he dies, cause he lacks all feeling. He’s dead inside, so you say, truth is he cares not for you.
hyper-tense slackers hoped up on day planners don’t make for good listeners. They’re cynic romantics who gave up on plans they once wished upon in their teens. They call themselves responsible artists well I fail to see the logic of a sell out. Passive aggressives who mumble their presence make up the lions share now
He says no to all commitments.
-------------------------------------------------
in truth we’re going to start a fire. it hurts to say, but I don’t want to see you this way. we’re going to put you under for a minute, but a minute could be your life. in truth, I wish I could have taken this for you. open insides, window pains, shut down.
In age, you always seemed so young. Because in decades spent, the time it never caught up with you. I saw it in the smile of your friends at your jokes, and your walk, and your simple courtesies. In truth, I wish I could have taken it for you. open insides, window pains, shut down.
you cast a shadow on me. The truth becomes what we longed to say and it still carries on like we carry on. You cast a shadow on me and I came undone when your heart part faded and I heard that song
-------------------------------------------------
JMP's and Tiny D, Clay Nighteningale, DMP and Emily all make my day.. All my friends are good looking..
Though looks never remain I know in my mind that friends never leave you. 3209 Harris Park Ave. Brian, Tess, and all the rest whose names will not fit. All my friends are... though no one ever says, all that’s left unsaid, doesn't go unnoticed.. and no one ever says.. “How we end up is always ongoing and you can change what you want in an instant”. I do. I still remember everything I felt. I do. and yes this means the world to us.
How’d we get to this point?
How we get to this point doesn’t matter much. That’s the point.
-------------------------------------------------
Our big admission of defeat
Comes in the realization that we kill time
One by one the hours fall from our hands
Lifeless after such carelessness
Minute by minute the toll aggregates
The temporal genocide goes unnoticed
One by one how the seconds suffer
We kill 24 hours a day
-------------------------------------------------
Its self defeating yeah, but its so fun to say “the status quo who quotes your quotes could be no other way.” Your talk is cheap, our talk is cheap, but you’ve got style. You play real cool, we play it cool, cause for the while your cultivated jadedness, it drives them wild. I stopped reacting.
We heard about it all, but we can’t stand to stand. We now collect ourselves because we’ve all learned how to say what matters most makes matters worse and smile, to laugh at loss and write it off as not a problem. Enclosed in classy clothes we closed off all that’s worthwhile.I stopped reacting
The quiet kids slant and live in their heads while the timid kids fret and convince themselves that “All sorrow unseen does not affect me”. If we live day dreams, “all sorrow unseen does not”.
-------------------------------------------------
I’m on want ads though patriots they say I’m the cause of all mass destruction. A separatist who seeks your approval. An insecure outgoing new arrival. I don’t want your monotone. I don’t mind your monotone, but I don’t need your monotone. I don’t think you’re monotone. Is this one on the up and up? I swear I’m on the up and up. This paper says I’m up and up. I see you’re weary.
I’ll take on all your friends, why not, I’ve withstood bigger things. I’m not one who gives up so soon. Your beats per minute will come back to you.
Lets make this nation first generation and force the good ole boys to take the jobs that they say we’ve stolen from the good ole boys and pay them with insults and intimidation. I don’t think two wrongs make right, but I feel the right wants wrong. I know that this right is wrong. And yes, we are the new scapegoats, but I’m stunned the old scapegoats would do this to the new scapegoats.
We don’t want more than anything you have. We just want acceptance, not tolerance. For we are more than guest worker programs, bilingual children, racial exaggerations. We are all the hopes and dreams of families trying to make ends meat. Of those who face the indignity of being deemed illegal. And we won’t mind the monotone if you let us call this our home. I don’t think you’re monotone. I see you’re weary.
I’ll take on all your friends, why not, I’ve withstood bigger things. I’m not one who gives up so soon. Your beats per minute will come back to you.
-------------------------------------------------
makers mark the headway down at trash can bottles point, overlooking highways from my backyard.
The walls and cracking plaster won’t be fixed until we leave. I’ll hold my breath until then.
Grab some ammunition. Sit and drink it on the couch cause all our allies wear blue ribbons. Hey man, she’s your roommate. There’s no room to crash and burn. I live on the runway maplewood.
My allies they betrayed me. They made my words come out all wrong. Stumble to my bed and sleep it off. Wake up early morning to see the sun and ground kiss cause we don’t for now at maplewood.
-------------------------------------------------
I see two sides and out of mind comes a gray that’s real unnerving. I know in time I’ll claim they’re the same, a sad thought to make me worry. Just work, think work, live work, no work means that you’re not here. We work for work, all work adds work, that gray still seems unclear. We’re coming in. We’re coming in.
I take two lines. A slight of a hand grabs me quick and says I’m guilty. He’s in my spine, a chance so innate, the illusion cracks my eyes. Just work, think work, live work, no work means that you’re not here. We work for work, all work adds work, that gray still seems unclear. We’re coming in. We’re coming in.
-------------------------------------------------
“Everyone’s your equivalent.” That’s easily the most reassuring thing I’ve ever heard. What makes you exceptional is your understanding. I hope that scares you to death because I want it to leave a mark and though I know the best way to do so is by leaving no mark at all, I want you to remember that for a time in your life you thought out of yourself and that that’s love. You’ll undoubtedly grow like we all tend to when nobodies watching, but don’t let your memory give way to cheap shots at your youth because you as a kid were just as defenseless and vulnerable as you are now, except you’ve grown adept at playing grown up and now that finally nobodies watching, you’ve become overly preoccupied with looking old and dignified.
-------------------------------------------------
a turning point, a revelation, a kid who asks
far too many questions. Goes out, not in, to find
himself. Some time ill spent, keeping to himself how
you know who you are and that’s nothing so far.
you look far and wide but don’t open yourself.
who knows. oh to live is this merry arbitrary.
On what life is .. he’s heard it all, from broken minds
In fifteen different languages. To stay on track,
A good foot forward, a middle class corporate darling’s values.
A walk in the park on some pills in the dark.
A string of distractions measured all at once.
Who knows, Oh to live, this is merry arbitrary
-------------------------------------------------
its easy to be uneasy, to be excited by fear, stress pounds, heart pounds, wait don't be weighed down, we need you.
move fast slow thoughts cause they’re all waiting, for lips to catch up the ears. If lines show the eyes then we’ve lost you. we need u.
we all grow to settle real fast down. we start to become unamused. we wonder how wonder lost was once. We start to pattern our abuse.
They threw out a life, for a standard fee, for weekend get-a-ways, for fenced in lives, for matching big screens, for petty shit to feel less empty.
-------------------------------------------------
We're so glad we found you. It took some time now mind you. You don't mind, but we'd be glad to for you. What you see before you is a choice you withdrew when you chose to mind, and you've made us proud.
On the weekend in Chicago, I thought I'd lost my art of living. I thought I, on a corner in Sevilla, I thought I'd move to Buenos Aires, and now I think why..
We are profoundly stupid children. Timid consequences. Social Architects. What you see before you is a choice you withdrew when you chose to mind, and you've made us proud.
-------------------------------------------------
diego, marquand, santiago, todd, ricky
recorded by Jason James at Spin Studios Austin, TX during June/July ‘05. released by Stem and Leaf Spring 06
all songs by the interest kills. all words by d.garcia-olano except maplewood by s.garcia-olano
You talk a lot of shit my love. I’ve noticed
you make faces to break faces with quick gazes
and catch phrases. To all et tu who bother you.
And I’m no good myself my love with the truth
cause in truth I’ve lost you to quick gazes and
foreign faces. Miradas you would like to prove.
It’s more than a moment. Three seconds could
turn out to be your whole life. A moment.
Educated guess and check ambivalence,
cafés packed with free form counter insurgents,
parking lot paralysis and confidants, who never miss.
Its war, its true. Its not me, its you.
There’s nothing new under the sun. Imagine that,
there’s only one. Just variations, out-dated systems,
and problems you like to construe.
The thoughts that plague your thoughts for weeks.
The thoughts that make you think you’re weak.
You rely too much and that don’t say much.
What’s it get you? It got me and you.
It ends me.
-------------------------------------------------
I know he’s thirty five and now my friends think I’m crazy
because he bought you a car.
I know he flew from Spain and yes that’s half way around
the world and that’s not a lie.
Excuse me for thinking, “I don’t think I’m the only one”.
I’m part of a set. Don’t tell me I’m the only one.
Honestly, I never thought that you lied. You just tried
real damn hard to avoid the truth.
I’m not salty. I just feel a bit betrayed. I’m dependent
on heresy and I’m just a tab.
I started believing that I was wrong.
Sometimes, it passes with time. Now you’re half
way across the world in Mozambique.
So I’ll fumble in footsteps and think about quick
steps for the next two years .
-------------------------------------------------
We’re your thoughts in a day dream;
hopes so accommodating.
We can make matters for worse if that’s what you want.
We create life’s mysteries because we’re so bored with history.
We are nothing but the still lives we pretend to be.
And I’m still waiting for the course to change.
Meta-fiction, I know what’s up.
Prescription bound, I’m not sure what’s up.
The sounds they make in silence, we thought,
was just imagination in part. .. its funny.
We carry cards. We’d like to get to know you for our files.
As such, you’ll note no correspondents we trust.
We can conquer all aging.
Societies carbon dating.
We’re the product of the sums of mass deduction.
We are subtitled families, patent pending authorities.
We’re still terrified by long walks in the dark.
And honey, we’d like to help.
-------------------------------------------------
When you fuck with people’s money,
you’re fucking with their lives.
Why do you think its funny that
their paying with their lives.
What’s at stake
the interest kills all around.
What’s that sound.
When banking accounts are frozen,
and tellers act like missionaries,
the agro-culture grows weary of fighting to survive.
Here’s that sound.
The president of the week.
When gauchos broke away, I found riots on T.V.
Stop that sound.
Evita don’t cry for me cause fancy silverware is
no good when we can’t afford to eat.
-------------------------------------------------
I’ve got a friend with sleepy eyes
who knows all the places I’ve tried to hide
and she says she knows me well.
Well I think I know her well, and drunken politics and road trips make us such good friends, but then a glance is held and all my cool it goes to …
Don’t say that you’re coming back. Don’t say that.
The trouble with sometimes is
she says I say the same thing too many times.
I’m so forgetful. I forget what’s on her mind. My biggest fear is that you’ll forget me know in two years flat and from some Spanish guy I’ll have to try to win you …
Don’t say that you do, you do?, you do.
Now please don’t take this wrong, but I write a lot of songs, and I tend to glorify, and I tend to simplify.
I’m sorry you became the one I became dependent on, but you’re such a work of art and I’m a debaser.
-------------------------------------------------
Call me outright. Call me honest. Call me stupid.
Call me old-fashioned.
But don’t tell me that I never tried hard.
Duck the questions that make you question your reflections, that make you think just a bit too much, and make sure that you’re still connected to the scene.
Choose a motive, however bloated you want your head to turn out kid and we can justify, for a meager price, all that you want.
Book the big bands. Promote the big shows. Forget the music because its second in command to all your handshakes and phone calls.
Don’t trust promoters. Don’t trust label reps.
Don’t trust club owners.
Its just a game of self interest. Its self destructive in itself,
but you’re so caught up in the wealth that you can’t get your hands on now, that you could never anyhow. Figure out what it all means and do it all by any means. Mass produced. Desensitized. A social contract based on lies.
Bad intentions don’t make good
and though we knew they never would
we all bought into this game.
-------------------------------------------------
I live in a daze of days past and
one day you’ll find I took a dive in the first round
because you, so scared that you, could stare straight at truth
and act so blind so that you’d never have to lose.
I never thought it was completely unavoidable.
Now I don’t have the right to say what I might
because my might is running from all sides.
And you, who set the trap, let’s leave it at that.
You know I can’t fight back with what I lack.
You’ll find yourself that safe bets are laughable and
I’ll never take the silence as meaningful.
The heir of arrogance has lost his thrown.
-------------------------------------------------
Hear me out. I’m selling things, kids, I don’t want to her,
But I’m so out of reach and
I’m so scared that you don’t seem to care about what’s happening.
When sighs are taken and no ones at fault,
Blame the big things and bath them in vagueness
so that you can come out intact.
Then leaps and bounds will stay in bounds and
lives get broken all the time for peace of mind
when the right piece is missing.
But you’re not here to hear me out.
Let go and ease your troubled mind.
Step back, and leave this all behind,
Because this is all a joke that can’t be taken back.
All this altruism is killing you.
Selflessness won’t make you happy.
It leaves you tired and discarded
like the dream you never risked.
When time seems wasted, I lose my train of thought
because I’ve been trained to think about efficiency and
I hear that’s a bad thing.
Now coaster brakes don’t mean much of anything
cause we’ve all grown up and thrown out our intentions,
by definition we’re mature.
Can you tell by my eyes that I’m a spy?
-------------------------------------------------
So enlightened without reason
So self righteous without thought
Men never do evil so passionately as they
do it when they’re taught to do it from
religious conviction. Please free us lord from this contradiction.
Wit is educated insolence or at least that’s what I’m told.
Their belief is like a guillotine, just as heavy, just as cold.
I tried to believe, but faith I concede, I’m not through with life.
There are some words that I’ve never really understood such as sin. For if there is a sin against life, it lies perhaps less in the despairing of it,
than in hoping for another life and evading the grandeur of the one we have – Camus
-------------------------------------------------
We’re the kind who cares not whether you be dumb, smart, slow, or clever.
You’re the type who says “I never … I hate everything.. “
You’re the type who prays against us.
Lead us not lest we be Christians.
Disguise your vices, god you’re clever. We judge everyone..
I do anything but love.
We’re not vocal. We’re all gestures.
You lash out with moral lectures.
Hide your fear, no, hide your treasures, you own everything…
Yours, the right way straight from heaven.
Easily agitated when you’re confronted with your own sins
Buy your way out..
-------------------------------------------------
I know this truth Sheldon,
that this question marks
the end of the beginning.
In silence you read me
and tear me apart.
I live through devices? Oh no.
I don’t. I don’t.
Don’t say you want a righteous hand
Cause god I’d never understand.
I don’t. Know, I don’t.
Your statements lack meaning.
Your words hold no strength.
Not like the prose do you?
You don’t write the right lines.
You murder the verse.
These clause destroy you. Oh no
-------------------------------------------------
I’m right side up. I’m inside out. I’m turned over.
All in one day’s length.
I’m x-rayed down to the limit. I’m all wrapped up in spoil.
I don’t know what I said as fast as they go.
I’m circumstance or I’m left out.
Either way I’d like to leave now.
Oh honey.. sugar.. well… can we?
-------------------------------------------------
diego, marquand, santiago, todd, ricky
recorded and mixed at The Zone, Austin, Tx. by Pat Menske. Artwork and Design by Julie Wilhelm and Valerie Boone.
all songs by d. garcia-olano. except “you talk a lot of shit my love” and “middle men” by d. garcia-olano/ m. schram
click on song titles to hear them and to see words